Not long ago I was dropping my daughter off at swim team and I had an hour to myself. I had some errands to run and some phone calls to make and as I drove away I pondered what I would do first. Hmm, maybe stop for a coffee somewhere? Then run my 2 quickie errands and if there was still time make the call I needed to make? I could do it all!

Instead. I did nothing.

I drove a few blocks to a nearby deserted park with an incredible view of the city. I parked the truck. Got out. Leaving my phone behind. And sat in the grass all alone. For 45 minutes. I sat. Alone. Still. Thinking. Meditating. Wondering. Pondering. Though I enjoyed the solitude and the quiet stillness of it all I did have to fight the little piece of me that wanted to produce, perform, consume and connect.Call, write, text, run, work, do.

It dawned on me how often I fill those chunks of alone time with things. I run to a cafe. Whip out a notebook. Check my messages. Text a friend. Listen to the radio. Check my email. And fill my head with all the doing of life. And I realize it’s easy to do. It’s not so easy to sit in the stillness. Especially when all the world is buzzing around me.

Of course as a working mother of four it’s often necessary to do. But I realize too it’s necessary to also sometimes not do. Whether I have 5 minutes or 30 I have found myself lately working on achieving quiet aloneness. In my scheduled meditation times it’s easier – to sit for 15 minutes in the stillness. But in the moments such as these periods of waiting it’s harder to convince myself of the merits. And yet, when I do, it fills me to no end and at the end I am ready to return to the world feeling a certain inner stillness that doesn’t exist otherwise. As opposed to a frenzied feelingĀ  i feel when trying to get it all done in the small window allotted.

222280_2001804049105_1363698408_2359649_6158282_nI’m going to try it more and more. In a crowded place I’ll just close my eyes and go into my own self. If I can find a place of solitude I’ll sit, eyes and heart and mind wide open to all the calm possibilities. Try it! Just remember to turn your phone off if you do.

And spend a little time just being.