Mother’s day is coming. The day to celebrate, appreciate, laude and commemorate. As it approaches I think, oh, it’s a gift shop holiday, who cares. I remember my own mom implying sort of the same thing except for the year my mom, who never swore, said to us kids as we were simultaneously handing her cards and fighting over the last something or another, “Oh mother’s day, schmothers day, it’s all bullshit.”

Do you dismiss mother’s day as just another hallmark holiday? But then when the day arrives think things like, “hey, how come you didn’t do anything for me???” As kids it’s hard to know what to do. Make a card of course, but then what? Make a fuss? Leave mom alone? Celebrate her all day? Or just give her space to not mother for a few hours?

My friend and inspiration, Carrie Contey has written up a great little post on just how to avoid falling in this trap. How to figure out what we want and how to make it happen without requiring those around us to interpret our thought process. As she so eloquently puts it - stating what you want = getting what you need. Done and done!

However you choose to spend it, whether your kids are big or small, near or far, I hope you take a little time to celebrate and honor your own self. I plan on starting the day with a few appreciations of my own, state my time for a little time alone in the morning, and then after that, I’m just gonna go with the flow. Outside. Where the flow is sometimes a little easier to get into.

In our neck of the woods, spring break starts next week. While the actual dates of break vary from town to town and state to state, the fact is, the kids are about to be off from school for an entire week. In some households that brings great joy at being able to avoid the alarm clocks and settle into some unstructured fun. In others it brings a little panic at a week home with everyone. Some families will chill at home, others will go on vacation, in others camps are plotted, or childcare planned, schedules are reevaluated or carpools made, and it is determined who has what and who will bring who where.

Regardless of what you are doing, take a few minutes to ponder it all. Whether you are excited or anxious. Happy or worried. Scared or elated.

What will you do? Where will you go? What do you all want from this week? Are there people you want to see? Projects you want to do? Roadtrips you want to take? Do you want to explore? Make? Craft? Play?

No matter, what you decide, the one thing you can also figure out is what you want. How do you want to feel? Do you want to have fun? Be productive? Be social? Get time alone? Be still? Be active? All of the above? How do you feel right now when you think about it? Figure out how you feel and how you want to feel. Figure out what you fear and what you want.What you have and what you need. What is definite and what is flexible.

Make a list.  Ask your partner. Ask your kids. And then put everyone’s lists together and see what you can come up with. I really believe that with a little plotting and planning, and a little discussion around it all and time given to it, everyone really can get what they need.

I love Valentines Day. And I love making cards. I love sending letters. And I love a good girls’ night out! So what better way to celebrate all of these things than with a Valentines Girls’ Craft Night out!!!  If you’re in Austin, come join me on Saturday February 4th from 4:30pm-9:30pm in South Austin at a beautiful place called the Writing Barn. We’ll craft and stitch and stamp and fold and collage. I’ll have writing prompts full of love and we’ll eat and drink whilst we craft and talk of love and many other splendored things.

Here’s the link for more info…

I have realized lately that I love Valentines Day just about more than any other holiday. It brings together so many of the things that are so important to me – appreciation, crafts, letter writing, chocolate and all done in the name of love.  What’s not to love?

I’m not talking the commercial celebration of it all – the guilt, the obligatory rose, the holy crap I don’t have a gift to give kind of feeling.

I’m talking the heart of it all. The sharing of the expression of love. The letting people know just how much they are appreciated and valued and loved. Truly loved. No other strings necessary or attached. Love is where the heart is. The heart is where the love is.

I’ve decided this year I am going to extend the holiday to be more than just a day. I’m going to stretch it into an entire season starting, well, starting now I guess. I have dug out the necessary paper, scissors and glue. I am clearing a place on our table which will be active for the next 3 weeks at least. We are going to make cards and we are going to write love letters to each other and to family members spread around the country.

If Christmas can be extended like it is, why not Valentines Day? Starting today I’m going to write one love letter a day in an effort to spread the love. I’m going to start with my own family under my own roof then I’m going to send them far and wide. And perhaps the beauty of love is, giving it is just as much fun as getting it. Gotta love that!

I went into a department store the other day in search of a punching balloon for a papier mache pinata we are making. The Halloween decorations were out. Which makes sense. And right behind them were the Christmas decorations. Garland, stockings, tree stands and more. Really. In the beginning of October. And I breathed in. Out. And realized it was time once again to set some intentions for how it could/should/would be for our family.

Rather than panic I took it as a reminder that the holidays were coming and if I wanted them to be peaceful and easy, which I do, now might be a good time to start pondering what they might look like.

Over the past few years we, as a family, have honed in on what we want our holidays to look like. What we want to do. Where we want to go. And most importantly, how we want them to feel. For us the holidays are full of making stuff, day trips, family hikes, packages mailed and treats created. Because, regardless of our beliefs, the holidays come at us from every direction in every form. And if we’re not clear about what we DO want, we are bombarded by what we don’t want. And I don’t think I need to go into detail about what that looks like.

In light of all of this, we created a workbook a couple of years ago to help families figure out not just what they don’t want, but what they DO want. How do we want it to feel? What are the pieces we want to incorporate and how can we get where we want to be as the holidays come our way.

Because goodness knows, they definitely come our way whether we are ready or not.

If you’d like to set some intentions for your upcoming holiday season and make your holidays feel more aligned with your family life, this Creating Your Slow Holiday workbook might be for you. Check it out. Answer the questions and then let us know what pieces worked for you. What changes are you going to implement? We’d love to know.

In our house of 6 people, the stuff of holidays can start to get a bit overwhelming. Not the events, we’ve got that pretty much under control. We decide where we’ll go, what events we’ll attend, what parties we’ll pop in on and it’s all determined on a case by case and day by day basis. “What are we ready for?” Seems to be the guiding question this time of year. A sort of variation on our usual theme of “is this working for us?”

The stuff I’m talking about in the overwhelm department is the actual physical stuff. We’ve just finished up a round of birthdays for everyone except me. We’ve kind of got what we need and even the kids are really not clamoring for much more. Especially our oldest who has a bit of the minimalist in her.

But then the holidays arrive and with it the stuff.

It’s not a consumption thing I’m worried about. We’ve got that down pretty good. We buy second hand or we go handmade – either our own or someone else’s. But still, it’s stuff. More stuff in our house and honestly we’re about full up.

This month we’ve been getting rid of things. It’s sort of become our tradition – the idea of getting rid of something everyday during the month of December. We missed a few days early in the month so our resident minimalist had everyone play a little catch up last week. She set the bag out on the kitchen table and facilitated the purging of stuff. Going through treasure drawers, under beds, on dresser tops, etc. It felt good for everyone to clear a little space and we all agreed, a clear space creates a more clear mind.

What I’ve realized will help eliminate the overwhelm as we enter this gift giving season is giving and receiving gifts that are consumables. Not just the sweets – although they are really good of course – but other consumables as well. Things such as a Yule Log decorated in school that can then be burned in the fire pit. Beeswax candles that bring joy every time they’re illuminated. Or the case of toilet paper that my mom sent. (is that the best gift ever for a family of six? I think so) A giant ham. All those things bring joy (yes a case of toilet paper brings me joy) and then they are used up and gone, not claiming any  permanent residence in our world.

As I enter this season, or rather as we are in the midst of it, I ponder this idea. How might that apply to kids? Art supplies I guess would fall into that category. Or a class of some kind. Or maybe an outing. And even if we don’t do all consumables, because surely we won’t, we’re going to really try and ponder the energy of each object brought into the home. Will it bring energy to our world? Or will it take energy away?

I find it difficult sometimes to walk the gift giving line with kids. But we’re trying. And each year I think we figure something else out that helps us make it work for our family.

What have you figured out in your world? I’d love to know.

The announcements have begun in earnest – craft fairs and holiday fairs and sing-a-longs and all sorts of gatherings of the flesh and the spirit. Here at our house we even sent out our first package filled with yummy baked goods to an uncle in another state who has a lucky pre-holiday birthday.

As the holidays approach it’s time for me to pick and choose the events we’ll attend and the things we’ll do. Which ones feel good? Which ones work for us? Which ones make us feel panicky and stressed? The gift list must be assessed not necessarily because there are so many gifts to get but because I like to stay sort of mindful about the approach and I know that when it goes to the last minute I make hasty (read: expensive) decisions based on simple mindLESSness. Last year it was (almost) all second hand or hand made which felt really good as the day rolled around but which definitely takes a little more time and thought.

There are lots of things we like to do around/during the holidays.  I like to gather with friends. I like to sing. I like to make stuff and bake stuff.  I like to make sure that each object brought into the house or sent out into the world will bring good energy to the recipient – love, joy, fun, beauty, function. You know, all the necessary ingredients for any object really. 

This time of year comes every year and yet every year it sort of comes at me by surprise. At first. We have our rituals and our traditions and sometimes we add new things as well. I don’t always know exactly what we’ll discover in the holidays all around us but I do know how I want it to feel. And this year, more than ever, I’m going for the full on joy and the connection. What I’ve come to realize of late is what’s the point otherwise.

Last year we created this mini e*book to help folks find ways to create their own holidays – just the way they like them. It’s a brief foray into figuring out what’s important, what stresses you out, what influences and how you want to feel this holiday season. If you want a little guidance around creating your slow holiday, this simple e*book may be just the ticket.

And, as we’re always on look out for more ways to bring on the comfort and joy in our world, I’d love to hear what you’ve created for the holidays in your home. The first exchange of the season.

We’ve made a decision this year to focus on the entire long season as opposed to just one day. In year’s past we always celebrated the pre-season, Advent, and all the festivities leading up to Christmas. This year though we’re extending it even further, beyond New Year’s day even, all the way to the Epiphany. Who doesn’t want to celebrate a day called Epiphany? Religious or not!

Growing up my mom always extended the season all the way to The Epiphany, a.k.a. Three Kings Day and the original meaning behind the 12 days of Christmas. On the Epiphany, we would receive boxes of Cracker Jacks, wrapped up in tin foil, and left on the back porch. As if they were actually left by the three kings. Forget Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh. How about Cracker Jacks?

Over the years that kind of fell out of my own family traditions. But this year again I am embracing the full on season, from December 1 all the way to January 6th. This has taken a lot of the pressure off to get things out on time. We are creating our family packages to be shipped knowing full well they won’t arrive by Christmas, but they just might make it to their destinations before January 6th. We’re doing a community book drive in January and not worrying that it’s not before Christmas. We’re making our holiday crafts this week and next. I may even wrap up some Cracker Jacks in tin foil too while we’re at it!

I’m loving the feeling of extending the season. I’m loving the pressure being off, not that there really was any true pressure, but still. I’m loving also the realization that traditions can come and go and even come back again and morph along the way to suit each family’s needs.

Got any morphing traditions in your house?

We had a great teleclass last night with folks calling in from several different points. We discussed what’s working. What’s not. And perhaps the most resounding, what’s the feeling you’re going for this holiday season. All callers left with some good nugget to take with them into their holiday season. Thanks to all who called in.

We talked a bit about gift giving too and how to keep it in check and fill it with the spirit we are seeking this season. In our house what works for us is to focus on handmade and homemade and on the rituals that allow the whole season to be celebrated.

At Future Craft Collective, my other collaborative endeavor, we just finished up a great round of advent calendar making and each calendar made is so unique – not just in its look but in its purpose too. Some countdown to Christmas, others to New Year’s and still others to solstice or Three Kings Day.

The season is here. And it is ready to be celebrated. In any way, shape or form that you so choose. Make it yours. Make it work for you and your family. And make it something to be enjoyed, not merely endured.

I started to spiral a little bit into holiday blues this past week. I was worrying about the consumption of it all and not exactly finding the spirit needed to bring me joyfully into this season. In an effort to combat the blues and bring in the cheer, I made a short list of what I wanted this month…

• connection with family and friends
• celebration of the season
• baking
• crafting
• sharing my good fortunes with others
• kindness
• a spirit of giving
• comfort and joy

As I looked at the list I realized all the things I want are completely attainable. And all are well within my power to make happen. We hung our Advent Calendar (finally) which consists of tiny pockets full of trinkets which get pinned onto the tree. In each pocket I also stuck a little note full of ideas for giving of the spirit. I crafted with some mama friends last night. And today, on this chilly rainy Sunday afternoon in Austin, TX I plan on doing a little holiday baking with the kids. And each time I start to spiral into overwhelm, I’ll look at my list for inspiration.

How do you create the spirit you want around the holidays? Do you know how you want the holidays to look and feel? Will you count down the days with joy this holiday? Or cross them off in a race of endurance?

If you need some ideas, we have a Creating Your Holidays e*book that will help you figure out just how you want things to look and feel.