My kids made up a new game last week. Partly inspired by ultimate Frisbee, partly by rugby and partly by the fact that we took a ball to a big giant field that just beckoned some kind of big, giant game.

All week they’ve been playing – in the yard, in the alley, on the beach and then back to that same big, giant field. I’ve played a few times. Everyone can play. It’s a game for all ages and abilities.

All week it’s evolved, with a few rules being added here and there and a few ideas dismissed after consideration by the group or after realizing it just didn’t work. Over time, the size of the goal has changed, where and how the game begins has been established (after one rather Hunger Games beginning ended up in a head crashing) and a few other dictates determining fairness, point tallies and strategy. One rule that I especially love is that each person on the team has to touch the ball before a goal can be made. The little sister in me always appreciates any rules that help. The rules are made by various kids playing and there is no time that isn’t an okay time for adding or changing or eliminating a rule.

I have loved watching this game come to life and we can already see this game will have a long term place in our family’s game repertoire. What I love more than the game itself is watching the game unfold from the depths of my kids’ imaginations. With each idea presented and rule established I can see their brains working out problems and creating solutions.  They are determining excitement, fairness, fun, duration, etc.

It is just this sort of thing that many experts are saying is eliminated from the childhood experience whenever there are too many dictates from adults or structured play or no play at all. It is the kind of game playing I remember from my own childhood – the creation of any game being part of the actual game itself. Like watching little kids play house where more than half the time they are planning and plotting the roles and rules – and that IS the play.

And I realize this is kind of how I view the whole idea of Slow Family too. There are no dictates or structures from others – there are only the rules that you as a family establish. You can beg, borrow or steal rules from other families you see and love, then interpret them on your own. Or you can make them all up completely, brand new family, brand new game.

It is what I mean when I ask families to ask of themselves, “Is this working for us?” Do you like how the game is being played? Does it seem fun? Fair? Exciting? If it does, keep the rules you currently have. If it doesn’t, make up your own rules. Add in new ones or eliminate old ones. It’s your game! And you can change the rules as you go along.

photo by Lucy Noll Anderson Lucy Willow Photographs

What better place to spend the last day on earth than in the park? Who better to spend it with than a bunch of other families who are interested in slowing down, connecting and having more fun??!! Come join us for the End of the World Slow Family Park Day! And if you’re out of Austin, might we recommend you plan your very own End of the World Day at the Park!!??

Here’s the deets….

• Butler Park the park formerly known as Town Lake Park which has aliases such as Fountain Park, That Park near Palmer, The Park with the Big Hill
• 12/21/2012
• Starting at 12:21 pm
• Bring your bicycles, skateboards, roller skates, blankets, a picnic lunch, whatever!
• We’ll be near the docks under the Willow Tree on the West side of the pond.

I’ve always thought that parenting outdoors was way easier than parenting indoors. There’s more room, there’s more tolerance for loudness and rambunctiousness and space to run and climb and play and space for all members of the family to have the space they need to dream, explore, rest, run, and create. It almost inevitably brings our family to its best self. Even times when we enter cranky, we come out feeling recharged and a little nicer too.

In our house we are lucky to have a little bit of nature in our own backyard and to have access to so many amazing natural places just outside our gate.

But not all kids or families have the same access to the outdoors. Or the same faith that nature is a good place to be.

The Children and Nature Network is a national organization started by Richard Louv and prompted by his book Last Child in the Woods.  The organization emphasizes the importance of nature in the lives of children. It works hard to offer families and communities access to the outdoors and to make nature a part of children’s education.

There are branches of this network all over the country and here in Austin we are lucky to have a very active branch; The Children in Nature Collaborative which is a collaboration of organizations in Austin working hard to expose kids to nature. This organization provides education, tools, ideas,  inspiration and a great website to help clubs, communities and families all over Austin to GET OUTSIDE and play.  (On it you can even do a search for the nature nearest you!)

This time of year the Collaboration pays tribute to the folks who are working hard to expose kids to nature – kids who might otherwise have no connection to it all. Kids who are learning how to be future stewards for our earth while also learning some very amazing things about their own abilities.

The Celebration of Children in Nature, on Thursday, September 20th, held at the most amazing Four Seasons Hotel on Ladybird Lake is a night of great tribute and beauty and  is one of my favorite events of the  year!  It is lovely and inspiring and is always so incredibly decorated to truly match its mission.  (butterfly pupa as the centerpiece? That you can then take home and watch hatch in your very own yard? are you kidding me??!!)

This year’s award winners are: Camp Fire USA Balcones chapter, Candlelight Ranch, Explore Austin and Perez Elementary School – all of whom are doing incredible work to help families and kids discover nature and thereby discover themselves.

If you’d like to attend this gorgeous event on Ladybird Lake, or provide sponsorship and help support this amazing collaboration, and cheer on the award winners who are literally changing the face of childhood, not to mention the face of our earth for years to come, you can contact Westcave preserve via email or call 830-825-3442.

Or, if you’d just like to find out more about ways that folks are working to help get kids outside, or discover ways to get out there yourself, visit Nature Rocks Austin.

Now go outside and play!

This time of year, the discussion of homework of course seems to come up everywhere you go.  In the grocery stores, school events, and even in the Wall Street Journal – Too much, too early, too long, too inane, too disconnected, too confusing, and on and on go the complaints from parents and kids everywhere. A kindergarten parent I know was shocked to learn they had an hour of sit down work each evening. A 6th grade parent I know stated 2-3 hours was the norm. Nightly.

We are lucky this year, across the board, we seem to be in situations where the teachers agree with us that busy-work homework doesn’t do anything and that learning takes place everywhere.

Our 4th grade teacher told the kids the goal this year was not to worry. She wants them to actually learn NOT to worry. It’s a brilliant message to send to a room full of 9 and 10 year olds. She told the parents at back to school night that family life takes priority. That’s a brilliant message to send to a room full of parents in the second week of school.

Our 6th grader has homework each night but it seems to make sense. Each night he is assigned reading and then he’s to write a paragraph about what he read. It’s lovely. Sure he has some math work too but that seems pertinent and he seems to be able to get most of it done during school hours – with only a tiny bit left by the time he gets home.

Our kindergarten team has decided on monthly family projects which I love and which we had once before with a second grade teacher. They are to be completed over the course of a month – together. Not by the parents only or by the child only but all together – siblings too if they want to help. The result with our first family project was the fourth grader stepping in as mentor and helper to the kindergartner. Family time created. Sibling connection fostered. Project completed with more beauty than could be imagined.

Even our high schooler seems unaffected by homework this year what with a study hall each day and a long bus ride during which she catches up on all her required reading.

The teachers seem to get it this year. They seem to understand what the whole child needs – that playtime and downtime and fresh air time and family time are crucial to the child for integration of all they learned that day.

If your teachers don’t get it and your child and family seem overwhelmed with work, perhaps its time for parents to take it into their own hands. When you see that busy work is just that, when you see that a child can’t possibly learn anything more when they are hitting the wall and crashing hard, when you see that sleep would be the best learning tool they could possibly have at that moment in time or fresh air or just laying on the front porch staring up at the sky, say enough.

• Write a note to the teacher explaining the situation.
• Work with the teacher and have a discussion about the goals behind homework. They may be doing it because it’s all they know. Share your views.
• Talk to your school about shifting to a school wide homework policy.
• If your teacher insists on pages being completed, do the homework for them. Make sure they know the material then send your child out to play, to bed or wherever you think they need to be.
• Remember that you are the parent and you actually know what is best for your child.
• Ask for homework packets that can be completed over the course of a week and more likely to be done with the ebb and flow of family life.
• Make all homework a family project. Sit together and work cooperatively. We work cooperatively all the time as a society – do it with homework too.
• Forward articles to your teacher about how homework hasn’t actually been proven to be effective.
• Start a revolution in your school. Ban together with other parents. Write the principal. Involve the PTA
• Choose a different kind of schooling if you can. Homeschool. Co-op school. Start a charter. Look around and see that you have options.
• Accept a lower grade. So what if your 4th grader gets a B instead of an A. Does it really matter at that point? College won’t be looking at your early elementary grades. Allow the wholeness of the child to take precedence over a grade on a piece of paper. I know this isn’t easy but think about it, if we teach our child that grades are the priority, what are we teaching them about intrinsic value?

What are some things your family has done to make homework easier? More family friendly? I’d love to know.

We are 25 minutes away from finishing the last Monday of the 2011/2012 school year. As always, it seems that the first day of school was simultaneously eons ago and yesterday. Our children have learned a lot, grown a lot, met new people, discovered new talents, and explored new ideas. It is a bittersweet time for most people I talk to – especially for my 5th grader leaving behind his elementary school and his king of the hill status and some of his friends who are scattering to different middle school this year. It’s definitely a sunrise, sunset kind of moment. Bittersweet for our homeschooled daughter too as the siblings are about to be around a lot more than before!

But here we are. Ready for one last week of school. Ready for the piles of half-filled notebooks and boxes of broken crayons and other detritus from the classrooms. And ready for summer and it’s long stretching days filled with long stretching shadows.

The kids can sleep in. Fill their time with activities of their own creation. Play. Read. Swim. Craft. Skate. Play. And sleep in some more. It is a time they all look forward to. Us too. Although admittedly there is a bit of a learning curve to filling all that time.

I’ve started what I call a “summer fun box”. It’s got random things in it that can be accessed when they’re seeking something to do. There are some craft books. Some word games. A wood burning kit and lots of little wood scraps. Cook books. A bag of marbles. That’s it so far. As I find other things that I think might spark the creativity I’ll throw them in there too.

Of course I’ll encourage a little idle downtime too. But too much of that only works for some of the members in our household.

How do you spark imaginations in your house? How do you let the days fall and fill? Do you have some tools of inspiring your kids onto creativity and exploration? Does idle time work for you and your kids?

I love summer. Even here in Texas. And I love the possibilities it presents for dreaming, creating and slowing down too. And I’m curious to hear how others walk this walk.

The camp brochures are starting to hit the streets and Austin Waldorf School has just sent us a beautiful ad for their amazing list of summer camps. Starting with the wee ones AWS has a whole list of lovely offerings. Including, my personal favorite, a camp called Endless Summer that sounds to me just like my memories of what summer can be. Check out their ad in the sidebar and go to their website to read more.

If you’re looking for something fun to do on the school holiday of February 20th, I, in my Future Craft Collective Hat will be offering a one-day camp at Austin Children’s Museum for kids ages 8-11. It’s called the Art of the Letter and we’ll be reading old letters, making tons of cards, folding up origami envelopes and reigniting the ancient Art of the Letter.

Or if you’re looking for something fun for everyday, you can always check out the incredible happenings at Austin Tinkering School. Kami is definitely blowing some minds over there and at the same time, gearing up a whole generation to participate in Austin’s Mini Maker Faire.

I love this town!!!

This time of year there is much academic assessment going on. In schools across the country teachers are trying to determine what each child already knows as they cross the threshold of the classroom. Different ages, different needs, different abilities, different tests. There’s a lot of pressure on teachers to perform according to state standards and hence a lot of pressure on the kids too to perform according to those same standards. With not a lot of wiggle room for different kids, different likes, different talents.

Magical Childhood just posted a beautiful entry entitled: What a Four Year Old Should Know. It’s a beautiful and thoughtful list that talks of the humanness of our being-ness. It’s not about being able to count by a certain date on a calendar but holding the belief that you are safe . It’s not about knowing the states or planets, but knowing that you are loved. It’s for 4 year olds but really, it’s true for all ages of children. Read it when you have a minute.

Childhood should not be a race to the most or the end or the biggest. But rather a lingering in the true magic of childhood. We only get this one fleeting time. Why rush it?

If you’ve been on this site for a while you may remember a post about a documentary called Consuming Kids. It’s put out by the Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood and it’s all about making sure that the marketing machine that is aimed directly at families and kids stays regulated. And believe me, they’ve got a big job ahead of them.

Just recently this same center had a big victory with getting Disney, (yes, big giant Disney) to offer a refund for any Baby Einstein products purchased since 2004. The threat of a class action lawsuit regarding false advertising claims of smarter infants and toddlers and kids was what convinced Disney to take this step.

It’s a limited offer, so help us spread the word by sharing this info with any parents and especially grandparents you may know. The grandparents seemed to be an equally large target for those claims of producing bigger, smarter, faster infants.

And now does this mean that infants and kids can be left to their own pace? Well, it’s a step in the right direction to be sure.

I was talking to an 11 year old the other day who was greatly dismayed that at his new middle school there was no time during the day to run around and play. The only physical activity is one semester of P.E. and that’s not until spring. He had to wait until he got home before he could move his body at all. Even the 30 minutes of free time during the day that they were given, they were not allowed to go outside. He was bummed and his parents were worried that with no physical outlet during the day, his learning would be impeded.

Just after that conversation a friend sent me this article from the New York Times about the importance of play entitled: Let the Children Play (some more) by Stuart Brown. It’s not just about having a good time or about getting physical exercise, it’s about behavior and attention span and overall wellness.

Parenting for a Peaceful World, written by Robin Grille, is a book for parents who want to learn to get inside their parenting with true compassion and understanding of both their children and of themselves. It is for child health professionals who want to gain insight into every infant and child, and even adult, they encounter. It is for adults who want to gain insight into their whole selves again and indeed, the whole self of every person they meet.

This book is nothing short of a manifesto for policy-makers, teachers, community leaders, and anyone who wants to deepen their connection to themselves and humanity as a whole. If the findings outlined in these pages are put into practice, the result may be a revolution of peace, humanity, and a world beyond our imagining.  And it can all begin in ourselves and in our very own families.

During our time together we will:
* Examine the whys of who we are
* Discuss the book
* Explore how our own early experiences influence what we believe about ourselves and how we parent
* Share some of the messiness and joys of parenting today
* Learn and practice mindfulness techniques that will help reduce stress and model good emotional health and regulation to partners and children

Time: 7-9pm
Dates: Every Wednesday for six classes starting July 29th
Cost: $250/person or $450/couple
Location: 919B Cardinal Lane Austin TX 78704

This is for mothers and fathers with children of all ages who are ready to explore and create new understandings of themselves, their children and their world in general.

Click here if you are registering as an individual.

Click here if you are registering as a couple.

Please contact Carrie at carrie@earlyparenting.com or 512-694-7794 if you have any questions.