In our neck of the woods, spring break starts next week. While the actual dates of break vary from town to town and state to state, the fact is, the kids are about to be off from school for an entire week. In some households that brings great joy at being able to avoid the alarm clocks and settle into some unstructured fun. In others it brings a little panic at a week home with everyone. Some families will chill at home, others will go on vacation, in others camps are plotted, or childcare planned, schedules are reevaluated or carpools made, and it is determined who has what and who will bring who where.

Regardless of what you are doing, take a few minutes to ponder it all. Whether you are excited or anxious. Happy or worried. Scared or elated.

What will you do? Where will you go? What do you all want from this week? Are there people you want to see? Projects you want to do? Roadtrips you want to take? Do you want to explore? Make? Craft? Play?

No matter, what you decide, the one thing you can also figure out is what you want. How do you want to feel? Do you want to have fun? Be productive? Be social? Get time alone? Be still? Be active? All of the above? How do you feel right now when you think about it? Figure out how you feel and how you want to feel. Figure out what you fear and what you want.What you have and what you need. What is definite and what is flexible.

Make a list.  Ask your partner. Ask your kids. And then put everyone’s lists together and see what you can come up with. I really believe that with a little plotting and planning, and a little discussion around it all and time given to it, everyone really can get what they need.

Things in our house have been a little bit nuttier than usual as of late. There have been applications to process for both middle school and high school. There’s after school stuff going on for the two in school. I’ve been working downtown, we’ve had out of town guests and my nephew has been living with us for the past few months. It’s felt fun but also like a lot.

Ordinarily I bike to work and am able to get downtown in a matter of minutes. I love being able to scoot down there so easily on my bike. No parking issues to deal with, no traffic and I get some fresh air too. For the past few weeks however even the biking has felt a little rushed. So I had to find a way to slow it down a bit.

Enter, the slow commute. As introduced by a co-worker.

And I love it! It takes me about 35-40 minutes tops at a rather pedestrian pace. I get to walk across the river and I can pause to check out the birds or boats or other on-the-water action. I walk past lots of cool little shops and get to peek in at the window displays which are fun to peruse. As I get downtown I get to enjoy the urban hike and have even gotten to “know” a few regulars on my path. Our hellos have become more familiar just in the few weeks I’ve been doing this and even the faceless homeless have gained a face because I see them longer and more often.

I love the way my mind wanders when I walk. I love the extra time I get to think about life, love, family and the pursuit of happiness.  And I love the way I feel when I get to the office where I’ll spend a good portion of the day in front of the computer. I feel fresh, strong and happier. Truly happier. And when I walk back home at day’s end, I get to carry that happiness into the house with me where it is really quite imperative at that time of day.

I have to allow a little more time on the days I do my slow commute. But really only 20 or so minutes more. I get home 20 minutes later too. But the way I feel during my walk and the way I feel when I get to my destination is nothing short of amazing.

If you can possibly fit it in here or there,even if you can’t really walk to work because of proximity restraints, even once a week or so, I highly recommend it. Walk at lunch. Walk around the parking lot before you get in your car. Walk around the halls of your office. Whatever it is, just slow it down at some point during the day and make the process of walking the total mission. Nothing else.

I think you’ll be amazed at what you realize about this life of ours. And the ideas that might pop into your mind.

Last night before my teen daughter went to bed, she and I were discussing a dilemna she was having in regards to something she had signed up for. It was taking a lot of mental space and causing her a bit of worry. We talked about the issue, what was good, what was hard and what was the greater good.

As she was ready to turn off the lights and hit the pillow I told her that she didn’t need to do anything at this moment in time except to ponder the issue, “Just sit in the feeling and the answer will come. The answer lies within and will come when you let yourself step away from the spiraling and pause in the feeling.”

I realized this was kind of the crux of it all and definitely the big idea behind Slow Family Living.

When we worry about everything from the small to the big -

- what to do, where to go, how to sign up, how much to sign up for, how to find connection, who to meet, where to live, etc. the answers lie within us. We just need pause long enough to figure out what direction to take, what decision to make.

And that is the idea behind slow. The slow is the pause. And the pause will bring you closer to what you want/need/love.

The answer lies within and will come when we give it the time and space to do so.

My cousin, mother of twin girls, sent me an illustration last week of Baby Sleep position from How to Be a Dad. It was one of those funny-because-it’s-too-true kind of funnies. And my 5 year old’s belly laughs were just a little too heartfelt if you ask me. There are more on the website. If you relate. Which something tells me you probably will! My personal favorite is Booby Trap with Snow Angel being my son’s fave. Which one hits most closely to home for you? Which one makes you laugh…until you cry?

Baby Sleep Postions

The camp brochures are starting to hit the streets and Austin Waldorf School has just sent us a beautiful ad for their amazing list of summer camps. Starting with the wee ones AWS has a whole list of lovely offerings. Including, my personal favorite, a camp called Endless Summer that sounds to me just like my memories of what summer can be. Check out their ad in the sidebar and go to their website to read more.

If you’re looking for something fun to do on the school holiday of February 20th, I, in my Future Craft Collective Hat will be offering a one-day camp at Austin Children’s Museum for kids ages 8-11. It’s called the Art of the Letter and we’ll be reading old letters, making tons of cards, folding up origami envelopes and reigniting the ancient Art of the Letter.

Or if you’re looking for something fun for everyday, you can always check out the incredible happenings at Austin Tinkering School. Kami is definitely blowing some minds over there and at the same time, gearing up a whole generation to participate in Austin’s Mini Maker Faire.

I love this town!!!

I have realized lately that I love Valentines Day just about more than any other holiday. It brings together so many of the things that are so important to me – appreciation, crafts, letter writing, chocolate and all done in the name of love.  What’s not to love?

I’m not talking the commercial celebration of it all – the guilt, the obligatory rose, the holy crap I don’t have a gift to give kind of feeling.

I’m talking the heart of it all. The sharing of the expression of love. The letting people know just how much they are appreciated and valued and loved. Truly loved. No other strings necessary or attached. Love is where the heart is. The heart is where the love is.

I’ve decided this year I am going to extend the holiday to be more than just a day. I’m going to stretch it into an entire season starting, well, starting now I guess. I have dug out the necessary paper, scissors and glue. I am clearing a place on our table which will be active for the next 3 weeks at least. We are going to make cards and we are going to write love letters to each other and to family members spread around the country.

If Christmas can be extended like it is, why not Valentines Day? Starting today I’m going to write one love letter a day in an effort to spread the love. I’m going to start with my own family under my own roof then I’m going to send them far and wide. And perhaps the beauty of love is, giving it is just as much fun as getting it. Gotta love that!

It’s the time of year for thank-you notes! A habit I love to model and encourage in my children. And one that I know isn’t always that easy to do – especially when there are so many to say thanks to and so much to be thankful for! Sometimes those lists just feel overwhelming. To me and to the kids.

This year we have a new way of doing them. A way that not only says thanks but encourages family connection as well. Read about it on Future Craft Collective and then gather the family for a little collaborative gratitude session!

I get this reminder rather frequently these days. Right now I’m being walloped with it. Time flies.

My baby is turning 5. Wasn’t he just born? My oldest is looking at high schools. Didn’t she just learn how to read? My mom is thinking of selling her house because she’s 86 and a half and it’s a lot of house. Didn’t she just get it how she wants it? And my calendar is nearing it’s last page of the year. Wait. What?

So in these continuous messages I am trying to catch my breath. Really and truly trying to breathe through it all very thoughtfully, consciously, intentionally. I am slowing down at yellow lights rather than trying to rush ahead. I am turning off the phone in the evenings. I am looking my family members in the eye. And I am very mindfully giving lots and lots of heart to heart hugs. Every morning when I greet my family for the first time. Big hug. Throughout the day when we encounter each other in the kitchen, the livingroom, the back yard, big hugs. And at the end of the day before bed the goodnights are deep and thoughtful and we really, really look each other in the eye. There you are. I see you. You see me too.

Because as fast as everything seems to be going, one thing we’ve definitely got is now. Right now. So I want to make sure I show up.

Especially this last page of the calendar. Which can sometimes take on a life of its own.

Oh, there you are. I see you. You see me.

I have really been examining my listening skills lately. Realizing in that examination that often I am either distracted or I try to talk my kids and partner out of what they’re feeling or wanting or needing. Really. A little song, dance, explanation or solution to get them back to happy. Even when they don’t want a fix, I offer it. Even when they’re really just venting, I try to convince them that it’s not true what they’re experiencing or feeling. Even when they don’t need me to do anything but just be there and listen, I tend to talk, offer solutions and ideas. Sometimes on top of their own words. Too many words. Too much noise. Too much input.

I’ve always been a talker, that much is true.  I even have a certificate from 8th grade proving it: MOST TALKATIVE. As if that wasn’t enough there is another one right behind it: CLASS CLOWN. A dangerous combination in the classroom has become even more treacherous in the home.

But I’m trying to change that.

Not that I’m going to get all quiet and serious. Hell no. But I am going to try to shut it a bit more when my family is talking. I am going to try to just let the good members of my family vent, share, talk, express and even ramble a little bit. (Is that a judgment? the ramble part?) It has taken me a long time to learn/realize that when they are talking, for the most part they’re not really seeking input. Rather they just want a sounding board. And with all of them, from the nearly 5 year old on up to the 45 year old partner, the more I let them talk, the more I listen, the more I learn and the more they eventually come to their own conclusions about what they want/need/feel. Without any help from their armchair psychologist/class clown of a mother/partner.

It’s kind of hard for me but in the end it’s really way easier. And it’s good for me to have a daily goal. And in the end too there are/will be far fewer arguments, hurt feelings, misunderstandings and the like. And there are/will be far more own conclusions and remedies for what is ailing them.

There are lots of words for it: empathic listening, active listening, responsive listening, reflective listening. And there are lots of amazing books on it and experts. But really, what it boils down to for me is presence to the people I’m with and the task at hand. In this case the people being family and the task being to just be there. Pure and simple.

I went into a department store the other day in search of a punching balloon for a papier mache pinata we are making. The Halloween decorations were out. Which makes sense. And right behind them were the Christmas decorations. Garland, stockings, tree stands and more. Really. In the beginning of October. And I breathed in. Out. And realized it was time once again to set some intentions for how it could/should/would be for our family.

Rather than panic I took it as a reminder that the holidays were coming and if I wanted them to be peaceful and easy, which I do, now might be a good time to start pondering what they might look like.

Over the past few years we, as a family, have honed in on what we want our holidays to look like. What we want to do. Where we want to go. And most importantly, how we want them to feel. For us the holidays are full of making stuff, day trips, family hikes, packages mailed and treats created. Because, regardless of our beliefs, the holidays come at us from every direction in every form. And if we’re not clear about what we DO want, we are bombarded by what we don’t want. And I don’t think I need to go into detail about what that looks like.

In light of all of this, we created a workbook a couple of years ago to help families figure out not just what they don’t want, but what they DO want. How do we want it to feel? What are the pieces we want to incorporate and how can we get where we want to be as the holidays come our way.

Because goodness knows, they definitely come our way whether we are ready or not.

If you’d like to set some intentions for your upcoming holiday season and make your holidays feel more aligned with your family life, this Creating Your Slow Holiday workbook might be for you. Check it out. Answer the questions and then let us know what pieces worked for you. What changes are you going to implement? We’d love to know.