Letting go seems to be my theme this week. Actually, maybe it’s a recurring theme it’s just that now I”m paying more attention to it. And funny enough, paying attention was the theme for the past several months. Which I guess means I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. In that big giant universal sense that is.
Every year for Halloween we take a family photo on the bench in the yard. Every year. Since we’ve been in this house. Since all the kids were little. Before some of the kids even existed. We would all get our random costumes on and take 10 minutes for a photo shoot. I love those photos. The sessions and the photos too.
This year we were kind of in a hurry because of new schedules where big kids get home later than usual. And costumes were chosen last minute which took a little bit of time. And we were just a little bit more scattered. So the photo shoot was rushed. And one child didn’t want to participate. At all. At first I insisted. But only for about a minute. And then, like a wave, I felt myself let go of the expectation.
In the big picture, who cares about the picture? Yes, I like it but taking a photo with 5 of us instead of 6 will serve as much as a reminder of where we all were at that current moment in time just as much as a photo would. I’ll remember that moods were off and we were feeling a little frantic and so the photo was different.
And I’ll use that photo of 5 as a metaphor for so much more. I’ll remember to let go of expectations. I’ll remember to let everyone feel the feelings. I’ll remember that we all need/like/want different things. I’ll remember that where we are in one moment of time does not define us for all time. I’ll remember, hopefully, to try to meet everyone where they are at any given moment of time. And hopefully I’ll remember that it’s crucial in this family life of ours to choose my battles. Which ones matter? Which ones can I just let go?
I think this year’s picture is going to give me more than I could have ever dreamed because what’s in the picture is just as telling and crucial as what isn’t.
5 Comments to 'Letting Go'
November 2, 2012
YOU ARE INDEED FORTUNATE TO HAVE FIGURED OUT THIS LESSON AT SUCH A YOUNG AGE IN YOUR FAMILIES LIFE ! IT TOOK ME MANY MORE YEARS TO LEARN THAT LESSON AND IT HAPPENED WHEN I WAS IN MY SIXTIES , NOT MY FORTIES. HOW MUCH LESS STRESS IF THE AWAKENING HAD COME SOONER. BUT LATER WAS BETTER THAN NEVER.
THIS LESSON LEARNED WILL SURELY MAKE YOUR FAMILY HAPPIER.!! GREAT GRANDMOTHER LIZ
November 3, 2012
Very thought-provoking, indeed!
November 3, 2012
This is such an important lesson and one I find myself having to re-learn often (especially during holidays). This Halloween my 7yo decided she didn’t want any pictures taken. AT ALL. I freaked out (mostly inside, but a little on the outside too) because I have a deep need to “capture the moment.” She finally relented and we got a few pics, but they’re not the gorgeous photos I planned in my head.
I had to take a deep breath and remind myself that while that “moment” wasn’t perfect, few ever are. And, that’s OK. Like you, I realized that not-so-perfect photos are the best keepsakes of our not-so-perfect life and they’re what I’ll enjoy looking back on in the years to come.
Thanks for this great post, Bernadette.
November 19, 2012
This goes with something I’ve been trying to practice lately: trying not to negate the feelings of others. Ex)”I’m hungry.” “But you just ate!” or “I’m mad.” “But you have no reason to be mad!” How frustrating…We need to let each other live and feel our own feelings. Be understanding rather than trying to make it all perfect. Surely, we’ll know each other better that way.
November 19, 2012
Yes! Accept the fact that we all have our own reality based only on our own perceptions/feelings/etc. Nobody can tell us our reality. It is ours and ours alone!
Leave a comment