My sister was a crazed picky and skinny eater: ate things only orange, only round, only starting with the letter “P”. As a grown up she continues to have rules about food that reflect her morals, values, and health needs. She has a very loving, appreciative relationship with food that she works hard to maintain and thinks about a lot. I believe that had she had the freedom to explore, choose, and appreciate food as a kid she would have found her way in a less dramatic way, but she has arrived and loves food, deeply.

I remember hating oatmeal as a kid and my mother forcing me to eat it until I threw up at the table. Wah la…she NEVER made me eat another thing.

I was the epitome of picky as a kid. Only chicken strips, mashed potatoes, and peanut butter. Seriously, not even hot dogs pleased me. I got over it as an adolescent when I started working at a fine dining restaurant where the chef (whom I still work for and is now a good friend) used really creative ingredients. Having said that, I still have texture issues with a lot of fruit and don’t like to “work” for my food (as in chicken wings or crab legs where it takes 40 minutes to get a few bites.) Oh and I haaaaaate cooked onions. Worms, anyone?? These days I won’t bat an eye at foie gras, escargot, sweetbreads, or fennel, but I still can’t bite into an apple. Go figure.

I think my son inherited my picky eating. He’s been a vegetarian–by his own choosing–his whole life (the hubs and I are omnivores) except he will eat turkey dogs. I don’t think that counts as a true meat though given the ingredients. When he was two, he took one bite of a chicken nugget and I promptly took a photo of it. History hasn’t repeated itself since.

I am a mom if a picky eater. She is 9 now and eats well every other week! One week she just drinks milk, and eat salads. Just caesar salad! Or caprese! the following week she will try the protein on her plate. It’s been like that since she was little! At the beginning I was worried during the weeks when she ate a little bit, but after years of seeing the pattern, now I know she is like that. Still I don’t know why this eating habit, so that book would be a good place to start.

I would only eat flour tortillas with butter on them. Now I eat everything!

Advice on picky eating? I’ll take it! My son, Max, is so very particular about everything that goes into his mouth. We have family dinners every night, and we have come to dread them. I dread trying to figure out what to make – if it is not from the “approved list” – pizza, chicken nuggets, fish sticks, mac n cheese, or spaghetti – forget it. I refuse to make two meals, so if I make something different (Tacos? No. Sloppy Joes? No. King Ranch Casserole? OMG no.) dinner becomes very unpleasant. And I am sick and tired of eating chicken nuggets myself! Sometimes I feed the kids, and then my husband and I get take-out after they go to bed. This is not ideal.

The worst part of it is that Max has asthma, and he is very thin. And I know his “cheesy carb” diet is playing a large part in his health issues. But he has no problem going on a hunger strike if he doesn’t like what’s on his plate. Or barfing it up if I manage to get him to put it in his mouth. Lovely.

And all of his pickiness has caused my daughter to start refusing to eat things, too. Very frustrating.

I have read books. I have taken him to an occupational therapist. I have taken him to an Applied Clinical Nutritionist (Yes, it’s true.) I have given him supplements, hidden things in smoothies, played eating games with him, tried to force feed him…okay sometimes things can get a little crazy… I just want him to be healthy. And I want dinnertime to be a time that we all look forward to and feel good about.

My first son ate everything I offered him; all fruits, vegetables, risotto, curry, you name it (all vegan). He loved and loves eating and I was convinced that was because of the way we introduced him to food (very slowly, he could explore, make a mess, try everything, no pureed food etc), but then 3 years later a gave birth to my second son and he was (and is) a whole different person. He was much smaller, more energetic and he didn’t love eating. He loved breastmilk, but all other foods were suspicious. He would try some fruit or vegetable, but would then keep it inside his mouth for hours without being able to swallow. He is 4 years old now and he is still very picky and still very small for his age, but he is making progress. I understand he is very sensitive; things taste very strongly or feel funny in his mouth. So I don’t push him at all. I want dinner time to be relaxing and enjoyable, so no stressing about food. It’s a challenge, but finally I can see improvement. He loves baked potatoes, so I make that for him almost every night and since recently he enjoyes smoothies!!! Yay.
My third son is 1 years old now and a big eater…thankfully.

I am a picky eater. Always have been. And I hate it. I hate that veggies taste bitter. And that the mildest of salsa seem to burn my tongue. I worry whenever we are invited for dinner that I won’t be able to stomach was is place in front of me.

More than this…

I worry that I am modeling poor eating habits for my kids.

Many things that I did not eat as a kid are my favorites now – spagetti sauce, olives, fish. Now I eat almost anything, or at least try it. My goal is to have my kids try a bite but I will not force them to sit at the table and finish their whole plate. I have one picky eater and one 5 yo who will try grilled octopus!

I can remember my mom forcing me to eat liver as a kid. I hated it. Now she realizes it wasn’t as good for us as she originally thought.

My sweet boy KILLS ME with the picky eating. I used to love preparing food for him when he was just starting out with the solids. Now I struggle valiantly with dinnertime, trying so very hard not to feel cranky and exasperated as he approached the table and loudly proclaims “NO WAY.” If only he would offer up some suggestions of what he WILL eat, it would be so much easier. Instead, he just refuses most everything. Except apples and frozen yogurt. I’m so glad my girl will eat. With gusto.

The only food I really hated as a kid was fish. Back then, growing up Catholic and hating fish was a really bad combination. Many a Friday night, I sat at the table staring at ice cold haddock till well after everyone else had finished and gone. My mother simply could not understand how anyone could gag on fish.

Fast forward a few years. At an aunt’s house were liver, onions and wild gathered mushrooms were for dinner. I LOVE IT! I went home and asked why we never had liver for dinner and my mother gagged at the thought. Still, she couldn’t understand my not liking fish. Her rationale: I only ate the onions, not the mushrooms or liver. Yeah, right.

During her last days, nothing would stay down; she essentially starved to death, God bless her. She was ravenously hungry and kept asking me to make her her favorite foods. I searched all of Greenville, SC, in search of rhubarb to make her strawberry rhubarb sauce to put over ice cream. I made her egg drop soup. Chocolate pudding. Egg nog. Chicken salad. Froze whole peaches, slipped the skin and chopped them for her to eat. Nothing, nothing, nothing tasted good or would stay down.

At one point she asked me to make her some cod. I just shook my head. “I don’t know how to cook fish. After I left your house, I never ate fish again.” Then my evil twin surfaced and chortled, “However, I DO know how to make liver and onions!” No, I didn’t make it for her, I didn’t force her to eat it, but I think she may have finally understood that not everyone likes the same things. Too late for us, but it taught me well for my own kids: try it. If you hate it, you don’t have to eat it.

I think of myself as an adventurous eater now, but I wasn’t when I was a kid. Wouldn’t eat mashed potatoes, mushrooms, liver (offal of any kind, actually), broccoli, peas, blah, blah, blah. I think it was a texture thing. I’ll taste just about anything now. My son is also picky about his food, but also strangely bold: he won’t eat any vegetables that are cooked, but will eat many raw. Hates tomatoes, loves squid. Loathes macaroni and cheese, but has eaten worms (eight of them, to be precise, from the garden).

Chris, that is a story for us all!!

Just last week we were visiting dear friends in Colorado. While there, our kids’ godfather was desperately trying everything he could to get my 4 year old daughter to eat her eggs. Especially since I had mentioned the importance of her protein in the morning for maintaining a better mood and cooperation. He tried it all: boiled eggs, scrambled eggs, eggs on a tortilla, and finally eggs on flatbread sandwich for her to take in the car. By the time we were just about to hike up Red Rocks he really had a heart to heart with her about his frustration and how he had really tried. I didn’t say anything, just letting it be his learning moment. Later he asked me and I just told him some days are like that and you can either try to control it and make yourself cuckoo crazy or just offer it and let her eat when she truly is ready. What a mirror life can be for us as parents as we go down this path and learning to simplify.

Casey, that story of yours made me think of Green Eggs and Ham (“Would you, could you…?”)!

Bernadette, thanks for bringing this book to our attention and sparking such an interesting conversation on your blog. I’ve enjoyed reading everyone’s comments and reflecting on my own journey with food–picky eater as a child (or rather, just too busy to be bothered to eat most of the time–except sweets, of course), blossoming omnivore as a young adolescent, curious food adventurer as a young adult, and enthusiastic locavore and organic vegetable gardener in my forties.

As a mom, I’ve had my share of disappointment and frustration when my kid didn’t love (or even like or dare to try) something I’ve spent time and energy making for the family, and I’ve had plenty of regrets and ambivalence about letting him fill up on the least nutritious, junkiest offerings at a potluck because he didn’t see anything appealing in a vast array of beautiful, fresh food. But I am seeing, little by little, the good effects of trying to model healthy eating habits. As I’ve seen my kid go through many stages in relation to food (as I did), I’ve tried to trust that his appetites and openness to new experiences would evolve (as mine did). And they have! He’s almost 13, and the other day he proudly proclaimed that he is the least picky eater among his friends and that he plans to stay that way.