We interrupt your summer to bring you this important bit of information…

I’m doing a little summer reading over here. Some light stuff you know. This one in my hand is called Stop Arguing with Your Kids: how to win the battle of wills by making your child feel heard. It’s got some great information in it and it is especially pertinent in our household as we segue from school to summer. It’s stuff we might have known but need a bit of a reminder on. Big transitions call for refreshing the toolbox.

The section I’m currently working on is chapter 2: The Five Steps of Responsive Listening. In quick review, here they are:

  1. At the first sign of an argument, check the impulse to argue back with your child and concentrate instead on listening to the child’s feelings.
  2. Invite your child’s thoughts, feelings, and wishes – without defending or disagreeing (and to this I add, without judging)
  3. Repeat the child’s position in your own words to show what you think he or she is thinking and feeling.
  4. Ask the child to correct your impression or elaborate on his or her point of view.
  5. Take time out to consider your decision – on minor matters by puasing before responding with our decision, or for more difficult situations by saying that you’ll talk more about it later.

Okay, now back to your summer. I wish you all a little peace in your own summer days. With less yelling and more enjoyable being. Together.

esme at the park