Slow parenting isn’t really all that new. It followed the whole Slow Food movement when the term was coined a few years ago by Carl Honore in his book In Praise of Slow, in which he uses the term Slow Parenting to talk about bringing balance into the home.
In the past several weeks, there’s been a lot of press about the latest swing towards slow parenting. Lisa Belkin, New York Times Motherlode Blogger extraordinaire, whose blog I follow religously, wrote about it in an article called Let the Kid Be. The Today Show had a segment with our own Slow Family, Carrie Contey on set. There have been blog posts galore and slow parenting is just on the general radar for being up these days. It is touted as being necessary in the face of the recession but it is also a bit of a backlash against the idea of hyper-parenting, or helicopter parenting, that has become so widespread in our society these days.
I’m glad about this movement and this discussion being brought into the mainstream. I think it’s time for people, families specifically, to find ways to slow down. But the part that is being lost in this current discussion, is the idea that Slow Parenting and Slow Family is about the idea of finding balance and truly connecting with each other and finding the joy in family life. Slowness is not just about slowing down and doing less, but about connecting with the whole process of parenting and with family life as a whole and with each individual family member as well. And that premise: slow down, connect, enjoy is the very foundation for this whole Slow Family movement of ours.
In all the teachings and writings of Slow Family Living, we really believe, and want to help others see, that family life can be the well where members go to fill up, to find inspiration and to have fun. We strive to provide the science, the practicals and the lens for understanding, believing and appreciating the richness of building and maintaining lifelong family connections. It’s not just about slowing down. Although that is a major part of it. It’s also about connecting and really enjoying family life. Finding the fun in it all and savoring it as it comes. And I guess the slowing down, the pausing, the really looking, hearing and seeing each other is what allows that connection to form and be sustainable for the lifelong.
Our children are only children for a relatively short portion of the whole parenting experience. Soon they grow and turn into adults with whom we have adult relationships. So this idea of Slow Family and Slow Parenting, it’s not about doing less or more. It is however about pausing long enough to really and truly connect. For now and for all time. And I firmly believe, above all else, that the connection really is what most people want. With our families, with ourselves, and with all the people with whom we encounter in a day.
3 Comments to 'Slow Family in the face of Slow Parenting'
June 9, 2009
I spent most of my twenties looking for the slowest way to go about things. I have a deep love for manual tools, working with the seasons to provide food for my table, building consensus, and making things by hand. This piece about connection resonates for me, because now in my thirties with a small family, I find that I am able to be more connected with them when I am not married to slowness. I find things go more smoothly when I am more flexible about it as an intention, especially the kinds of “simplicity” that lengthen my to-do list.
June 10, 2009
The sense of connection you get when paying attention far outweighs any material goods you can provide your kids. I have found full eye contact and getting on my kids’ eye level helps considerably with effective communication.
I love your message so much because it goes beyond the less is more idea. It truly is about feeling a part of something larger than yourself.
Thank you.
June 11, 2009
Thanks so much for putting these thoughts together. It’s such a difficult balance to strike, between connecting with one’s family and taking time and space for oneself. I understand deeply the urge to say, “Leave me alone!” and cheerfully shuck off some connection in the name of wild parenting.
At the same time, I could not agree with you more that the real goal of this dance is connection: with the disparate parts of ourselves, with each other, with our world.
Taking time to stop and literally smell the roses, as we did on our morning walk today, brings me into connection with my own senses, my baby’s delight in flowers, and the blooms themselves. Thanks again for the reminder to invite more moments like that into my life.
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